


Two steps forward

by wanderingsmith



Series: Sam and her boys [6]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-12
Updated: 2009-03-12
Packaged: 2021-01-16 20:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21276893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingsmith/pseuds/wanderingsmith
Summary: The first steps to a deeper friendship





	Two steps forward

**Author's Note:**

> I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is thought, so let it be said; you make the toys, I play with 'em.

"Hey Siler. I know I'm being a coward to leave a message, but I've been debating all day and now I have to go and.. you're not answering. So, yeah. I'm going to be out with the Phoenix for a few weeks. If, ah, you had any inkling to, Jack would enjoy the company. Well.. he might pretend otherwise, but I think you know him well enough to see through that. Anyway.. take care of yourself, old friend."

The fact that that was the fourth time he'd played the message told Siler more than he needed to know about his feelings for the brilliant woman he'd worked with for so long.

It wasn't that he hadn't been *aware* of his underlying affection, but he'd thought he had it under better control. They each had their lives and the only place they intersected was at work. And even there, it was only on occasion that they really worked together. Occasions getting rarer with every passing year.

He had his memories, he had his job, and a few all-too-neglected hobbies. Casual friends and a fuck-buddy every so often pretty much completed his quiet life.

The question was, did he want to change that? Atlantis had been.. a hell of a surprise. Sure, Sam in a playful mood brought back fond memories, but the general willing to either share, let along 'play'... had shocked him, however well he'd managed to hide it. His own body's reaction had been a bit of a surprise too, considering all the years they'd worked together. And then too, Jack O'Neill was not someone Siler would have ever expected to lend himself to that kink; anymore than *he'd* ever really considered looking at a man that way.

He got up from the deck chair restlessly; it was tricky enough to alter the thought of Sam as being taken -off-limits-, after all those years when it was so obvious that she was, but shifting the general from someone he admired and liked, to... whatever 'more' Sam was implying...

He stood staring into the night in his backyard and admitted that he was pretty much certainly going to step forward and find out anyway. Even if they were just offering friendship, he wasn't about to refuse. Sam was a pleasure to be around, and he kinda missed listening to her mind work through problems. As for the general, Siler grinned in fond memory, he was sure the man was frustrating as hell in the long term, but in small doses, he was a hell of a lot of entertainment, and Siler had always had a soft-spot for dumb jokes -which was one of the reasons Sam had gotten to him all those years ago-. It was just a good thing that he had a good poker face; Sam may have gotten away with grinning affectionately at her commanding officer, especially with Doctor Jackson and Teal'c's varied reactions to camouflage it, but Siler would have pulled a much more askance reaction for doing the same.

No, spending time in the general's company, especially now that he seemed to be remembering how to enjoy life again after those years as the controlled diplomat, would be a pleasure. Especially without the risk of being electrocuted, blown up or otherwise severely hurt in the following minute.

Somehow between getting older and working a little too much, Siler'd reached a point where he actually noticed that his life was kind of empty. Some friends that understood both crazy schedules and a crazy life; and obviously wouldn't be shocked or disgusted when he inevitably slipped and treated a kink as normal.. could be nice. Could be really nice.

He tried to ignore the pulse of excitement that hinted that he was maybe, just maybe, hoping they were offering that 'more'. But he'd take whatever they gave him for as long as it lasted. A few more memories to live on after it ended -whatever 'it' was- one way or another.

####

When Jack opened his front door, he was expecting either neighbourhood kids selling stuff or Daniel back from his dig in Mexico early and come to babysit the lonely Air Force 'widower'. Finding Siler in jeans and a leather bomber made him straighten in surprise, brows jerking up, "Siler?"

"General. I, ah.."

Jack watched him blink quickly, impressed by the fact that it was the only tell he could see. The stalled words and the fact that he was showing a tell at all meant he was seriously nervous, though; Jack knew damned well the sergeant would stare at a horde of replicators with the same bland calm as at a yelling colonel. So what the heck had him so off-balance?

"DVD player's busted. I, ah, was kinda in the mood. Thought we could cooperate." He pulled a movie case from his pocket as he spoke and Jack briefly saw Marge's blue hair in the spotty porch light.

Holding back a smirk at the transparent excuse, Jack stepped aside in silent invitation, waving at the coat hooks and swiping the Simpsons season five out of the sergeant's paw on his way back to the living room. He threw an offhand "Beer?" behind him as he headed for the player, deciding with a grin that Siler's babysitting skills were already far superior to Danny-boy's usual pizza and argument sessions. Teal'c's continuing fascination with cinema made *him* OK; but he was a little hard to come by these days.

The responding "Thanks." bobbed up and down and he heard a pair of boots hit the floor in quick succession.

The sergeant padded silently into the living room as Jack headed for the kitchen, nodding at the couch, "Grab a seat. Remotes're on the end table."

He heard the TV start up as he took two beers out of the fridge and looked for a bag of chips that was edible; he never *could* understand Carter's tastes in junk food. The bag of Cheetos he finally found hidden at the very back made him smile a bit wistfully, knowing very well that Sam had bought it as a surprise for the next time he whined about her 'healthy choices'.

"Sir?"

Jack blinked in surprise and turned to look at the man giving him a lightly worried frown from the doorway.

"You OK?"

Jack snorted softly, pulling the junk food out of the cupboard and straightening. "Sorry. Thinking about Sam." The words were out of his mouth before he thought to censor them and he jerked his head up to meet Siler's understanding nod. Watching him walk over and grab the beers without a comment, Jack realized he didn't feel exposed at having let that out in front of him, even if it was dopey as hell to be missing the woman after just three days when they'd been apart for months on end in the all-too-recent past.

Grabbing the bottle opener and following the other man to the living room, he remembered the faint ideas he'd been throwing around about their old colleague. But then he tried to beat the thought off; he and Sam had avoided the whole damn awkward getting to know each other thing, the notion that he was going to have to go through it after all... ack! *Someone* had a cracked sense of humour!

On the other hand, for a second as he started up the cartoon and popped the cap on his beer, he remembered again that look in Samantha's eyes as she turned her head. Dammit. He really, really, wished he could deny how much he was willing to do to give her that kind of pleasure. Never mind the rest. Never mind it *at all*; dammit, he was too old to change. Wasn't he? But Sam going crazy in his grip... He knew change could be good; living with Samantha was even better than he'd ever imagined... Dammit anyway.

Staring firmly at the large LCD, he waited for a lull in the show to throw out the first conversation gambit that appeared in his head. "Hey Siler, I always kinda wondered.. What the hell am I doing in your will?"

He reluctantly turned his head to meet the unreadable look the man threw him in response. "..I.. assume you know Sam and I used to.."

Jack rolled his eyes at the trailing words, smiling self-deprecatingly as he turned back to the show, "Yeah, I got the inkling, thanks."

Siler grinned briefly at the dry tone, "I, ah, took pictures from time to time."

He watched the general's eyes glaze slightly, coming back to him, a slow grin making him look 10 years younger and wicked as any 20 years-old fighter pilot, "Pictures? Of Samantha?"

The raspy lust in the those words made Siler smile a little at the shared sentiment, splitting his attention between the man and the television, "Yeah."

"..And you were going to.."

Siler shrugged, looking away from the now slightly confused expression, feeling a little abashed, "Watching you two dance around each other and remain alone and miserable so long was kind of annoying sometimes. So one day when I was.." he glanced at the general briefly, really not sure how much honesty -or bluntness- had really been pre-approved by their adventure on Atlantis, "Browsing through them, I got the idea that maybe a-" Siler blinked to himself before finishing with the kind of language he knew got through to the man, "Kick in the balls might get you moving." With the words out, he tensed, waiting to either be ordered out, or...

Jack threw the poker-faced sergeant a smirk for the balls behind the disrespect, pretending he didn't see the flash of uncertainty in his expression, then watched the show for a minute, thinking of what he'd have done if he'd had pictures like that left to him years ago.. but then he shrugged it off. The past was done; he stubbornly lived in the present these days. He turned to Siler, grinning again, "..Still got the pictures?"

Siler couldn't stop a responding wide smile at the eager tone, relaxing, "Oh yeah."

Though not another word was said, he knew that that had been an invitation, and he couldn't deny that he wanted to watch Jack's reaction to those pictures. It was a little harder to admit to himself without Sam present as a catalyst, but dammit, the taboo and mental block had both been shattered when she had walked around that desk and pulled her willing general into a hot make out sessions in front of him. Sam and sex were damned good hammers for any hesitation. *Naked* Sam could drive him to his knees; or to blow a man, though *that* had had an entirely different feel when she'd joined him. And remembering her eager response to the whole thing.. probably wasn't a good idea right now, he thought as he turned back to the TV, trying not to shift, knowing it would make it obvious he was fighting arousal.

Jack's mind was swinging between wondering just what new kinks he was going to discover in those pictures.. and wondering about the man sitting on his couch. Remembering a clean record with a lot of commendations, the mention of a brief marriage.. and none of any remaining family; also remembering that he was another one that he'd had to *order* away from the base so he'd conform to downtime regulations.

Thinking of the fondness in his voice as he spoke of Sam -however well-hidden-, of the ease between them on Atlantis.. *and* during all those years at the SGC, he waited until the end of the first episode before asking quietly, wondering.. if he was responsible. And not sure how he felt about the idea. "So why did you and Sam split?"

This time he met the look the man threw him with a calm but serious one. No, he wasn't jealous, no matter what the answer was, but he did want to know where they all stood if this was going to be more than a.. one-time quirky fuck.

"After Jolinar," Siler nodded at the glare that crossed the general's face, just as pissed about that damned snake's attack, even after all this time and all the undeniable good that had come of the Tok'ra alliance, "Sam needed time to get her head straight. And then it just.. never started again." He shrugged, wondering if Jack O'Neill, of all people, would be able to understand Siler's acceptance of that. Able to understand that *he* hadn't been 'in love', and that as much as he'd missed the hot, playful, relaxed sex, he'd been perfectly content to continue to be her trusted lead hand.

It was a sight better than what he'd gotten out of the last time, after all. And maybe that needed to be said too, since this was turning into a bit of a heart-to-heart. "Was married once," he kept his eyes on the TV, ignoring and refusing to interpret the look he felt Jack throw him, "For about 3 months. Then she decided that somewhere between being an engineer, a soldier -a *noncom*-, and... having kinks.. I wasn't what she wanted and left," he shrugged again, aware that that had probably sounded a little self-pitying; but he'd wanted to be honest, "So, frankly? I was just glad Sam was still a friend." The responding grunt made him smile for some reason; maybe the shared discomfort? Or agreement that that was a pretty good reward for putting up with a crappy hand at life? 

A few seconds of silence were broken by Jack finally spitting out a disbelieving "Having kinks?"

Wincing slightly for even mentioning it, Siler split his attention between screen and general, laconic after all this time, "Made the mistake of saying she could blindfold me any time."

Jack blinked, looking totally confused, "Come again?"

Then Siler snorted, suddenly feeling amused by the whole thing, "We were watching a pirate movie. The guy was blindfolded to walk the plank. She said that looked uncomfortable. I said..." he waved a hand before staring into nothing for a second, losing the humour as quickly as it had come, "I knew she wasn't into kink. Not sure why I thought I could say that. Either way, two days later I came home to divorce papers on the kitchen table." He shrugged off the glum, throwing the general a quick grin to lighten things up, "Guess it's a good thing I wasn't crazy in love with her; life went on, I got to work with Sam and.. then I had those pict-" He cut off as he heard an odd ring from the unfamiliar device on the table that he'd unobtrusively looked over earlier and decided was Earth-made, if exceedingly advanced.

Jack brightened, just as glad the grim topic could be put aside -at least for now, he though with a mental sigh of resignation-. "Alright!" As he reached for the large red button on the widget, Siler must have paused the player because suddenly there wasn't even a low-volumed cartoon noise. "Hello?"

"Hey Jack! Guess what?"

He grinned widely, turning his head to see Siler's eyes wide and his fingers twitching toward the gadget with the kind of 'take it apart and see how it works' eagerness that Jack knew all too well. "Oh, I don't know. You ran out of gas down the block?"

The excited laugh he got in return made Siler smile too, not an expression Jack had seen very often. "Looks like we're going to be able to communicate with you guys even from the back of beyond. I can't believe how clear this signal is! I thought for sure the subspace waves from travelling or else the difference in time due to the distance would-"

Jack automatically winced dramatically, "Ah ah ahhh! *Carter*!"

He glared at Siler who snickered at him as Sam giggled -stopping her technobabble, but not apologizing!-. These two were going to be trouble, he just *knew* it. They both knew he hated thinking about all their tech stuff and he had a feeling they enjoyed watching, or listening, to him lose it; almost as much as he enjoyed playing out for them... "You know, Samantha, you really shouldn't use your powers for the evil of ordering poor Siler over to babysit me."

"I didn't order him-" "She didn't order me!"

Jack rolled his eyes at the synchronized indignant retorts, but Siler beat him to any further punchline by rising and coming to lean his hands on his chair arms to physically crowd him, growling fractionally-seriously, "And I wouldn't take such an order, *general*."

Jack smirked, sitting very still and keeping his misgivings at the game they were suddenly playing in earnest from showing, "Oh yeah?" He was half-aware that Sam hadn't said anything since Siler had spoken, but most of his attention was on the man standing just a little too close for casualness, let along any military correctness; on the fact that Sam was suddenly, in a way, 'present'. And that that was obviously having a very noticeable effect on both their inhibitions.

Then Siler made the mistake of teasingly grabbing the tense, retired black ops, soldier's shirtfront as he bent his head another inch, not really thinking about what he was doing.

Sitting in the bunk in her quarters, Sam had started smiling when she heard the sergeant, glad he'd taken her up on her offer and that they'd obviously been getting on well enough. But when there was a sudden, *particularly* dead silence, followed by a muttered "Shit!", she frowned, calling out in concern, "Guys?"

Siler was the one to answer, in a too-careful tone, "Forgot who he was for a second and grabbed his shirt."

She straightened, wishing she'd set up a camera to go with the communicator, "Shit! Jaaack.. what did you pull on him?" It could be anything from a hand-to-hand fighting move to a knife to a gun, unfortunately; and Siler sounding calm didn't actually mean all that much, as she knew from professional experience.

"Just my fist, Sam. And I did 'pull' it." Jack swallowed, making himself relax and finally let go of Siler's collar, exchanging a wary nod with him, "Sorry Siler."

Siler straightened up and shook his head, starting to laugh at himself as he sat back in his spot, grabbing his beer as adrenaline gave him a better buzz than any booze, "My fault, I *really* should know better."

"You're OK?"

Sam's thin voice filtered through the speakers again and Jack answered for him, "He's fine, Sam; I couldn't actually hurt him. Any more than I would you." At least not when he was awake and himself.

Before she could do more than sigh, Siler added softly, "Sam. It's alright. We're fine."

"OK. ..So what were you two doing before I interrupted?"

Siler watched an unfamiliar softness slowly ease over the general's expression at Sam's gentle tease, strongly suspecting, especially after seeing the man's surprise at his own honesty in the kitchen, that not many people were likely to have seen this side of him. Looking back to the spacephone wistfully, Siler wondered why he'd never felt that close to someone. Wondered too if he really should be here; interfering, as it were, with two people he'd once tried to matchmake...

"The sergeant's transparent excuse to come watch over me was that he wanted to see the Simpsons and his player was somehow broken beyond his ability to fix. You sure he should be on the books as an engineer?"

Sam smiled widely when she heard Siler laugh out loud again, knowing how rare it was for him to relax that much with most people. It would be nice to regularly see him happy again. As completely different as he was from Jack as far as the persona he gave out, she remembered that once he trusted you, he actually *did* smile a little more in private. And even joked and teased a bit.

"That's *senior* engineer to you, general. And I never said I couldn't fix it. Only that it was broken."

Sam snorted, amused at the games they were playing, "What did you do? Knock out the power connection with your favourite wrench?" That was a fairly easy thing to both do and fix, something she might have used as a..

She heard him sigh, "No, unfortunately not. Crap accumulated in it. Tried to play Die hard last week and it refused to even acknowledge the disc. When I blew in it, a bunch of dust flew out. Still didn't work though. I'm just debating whether to bother opening it to clean it or just get a new one."

"Dust?? When was the last time you used it??" Jack sounded exasperated, no doubt fully cognisant that their friend's workaholic habits were responsible for the unnoticed accumulation.

"..Can't remember."

Sam interrupted before Jack could get started on such a laconic answer, "Boys. I'd better cut this communication. Try not to fight.. and don't do anything *I* wouldn't do," she wondered how long *that* would take to trickle through their brains, "Love you. Bye." She cut the line before either had to answer, feeling her heartbeat cranked up from taking yet another risk. She wondered if Siler had managed to keep the shock at the words under his poker face. Or if he'd completely, automatically, dismissed the possibility of it applying to him too.


End file.
